We are blood brothers
by BlackenRosette19
Summary: With Dean wanting to be on separate terms, Sam agrees, but he's alone. With news of being Lucifer's vessel, he thinks he's completely on his own an he's determined to stop it. All rights go to the rightful owners. Just figured I would burrow em ;) They will be more chapters updated.
1. Chapter 1

**all rights go to the rightful owners ;) just figured I would burrow em. There will be more chapters than just this one! Warning though~ suicide attempts**

He was setting on the hood of a stolen car. A Camaro, 1967. He hadn't noticed at first it was the same year as Dean's beloved Impala and it made him smile that he had came across a vehicle of that particular year. Though it didn't ease his thoughts at all. He knew his brother was right. Everything was his fault. He was to blame for everything. The start of the apocalypse. Lucifer's freedom. Going behind Deans back and worked with a demon, drank her blood. They were all choices he had made. He couldn't put the fault towards anyone else but himself.

Dean had made it clear that he did not trust his brother and that hurt. More than the words Dean had thrown at him in anger.

"You trusted a demon over me!"

"We aren't stronger together Sam, we are weaker, that's why its better we go our separate ways."

Sam lowered his head in defeat. He agreed with his brother without a fight. They were weaker together but they weren't exactly stronger apart. He did feel his brother would be better off without him.

It had been twenty minutes since the devil all of sudden appeared in his motel room announcing that Sam was his true vessel. It left Sam speechless, disbelieving that even now he was still gonna be at more fault. He tried to deny it but Lucifer smiled twisted and confident. So instead he said, "I would rather die than be your vessel!"

Only Lucifer told him that he could get hit by a train or blow his brains all over the wall but he will bring him back everytime. His first thought after he had vanished was to call Dean. After a few minutes of hesitation he had picked up the phone and called him. Sam told him that he wanted to hunt together again, practically begged. He wasn't surprised when Dean had refused him. What did though was how flat, uncaring his voice had sounded.

"No Sam." Without another word Dean had hung up.

Sam stared at the phone like it had electrocuted him. Maybe Dean really didn't care bout him anymore. So he acted out of any instinct and through the phone against the wall, shattering it into pieces.

Now he was setting outside with only one thought running through his mind. He got off the car and walked back into the motel room. Even though the brothers were separated Sam got a room containing two beds. He walked over to the bed closest to the wall and flopped down on his back. His gaze drifted over to the other, unoccupied bed, near the door. Dean always took the bed close to the door. It gave him a better chance at protecting Sam if any supernatural creature got into the room.

A small smile found its way to Sams lips, quickly fading at his thoughts, If Dean knew what I was about to do he would kill me himself...maybe.

Sam slowly set up, his eyes landed on the duffel bag on the other side of the room. He was not lying when he said he would rather die. If he couldn't turn back time an stop everything from happening then he could make sure the devil wouldn't get his vessel.

He quickly made his way across the room and to the bag. He picked up the heavy hand gun that Dean had given him when he turned fifteen. He looked at it with pain in his eyes. He knew he had to do this. It was for the best.

He dropped to his knees clutching the cold material with a vice grip. Lucifer told him that he could blow his brains out and he would just bring him back. Guess he was about to test that theory. The last thought he had was, I'm sorry Dean...

Then he quickly brought the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.


	2. Chapter 2

**So chapter two is up. Chapter three will be updated soon ;)**

Dean woke up with a start. His breathing was fast and his hair was wet with sweat. "What the hell was all that about..." He mumbled running a hand down his face.

Though he already knew the answer. It gave "Angels are dicks" a whole new understanding. That future was a terrible sight. All because him and Sam split? It didn't make sense, but it was enough to get him to rethink the whole separate ways idea. Dean sighed, swinging his legs off the bed an onto the floor. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer.

He stared at his cell phone for a long moment. He would call Sam but not tonight. He was still fuming and all a phone call to little brother would cause is an outburst of anger. He was mad at Sam for starting the apocalypse, for setting Lucifer free, sneaking around with Ruby, drinking demon blood, he's angry at himself for purposely pinning all the blame on Sam knowing he to had a part to play in all this as well.

He didn't hate the kid. Sammy was his brother and nothing he did would make him love him any less but he can't just pretend the world isn't going to hell around them, he couldn't just flip a switch and say everything was fine and when he said they can't keep going on working together he meant it. They were each others weakness an somehow they always got played against each other. By heaven and hell.

The sound of his cell phone buzzing on the nightstand interrupted his thoughts. He looked at the caller ID. It was Bobby.

"Hey, Bobby." His voice was rough with sleep.

"Hey kid. I found a hunt ya might be interested in."

"What kind of hunt."

"Five kids went missing a week ago. They were camping back in the woods. Police reports say they found claw marks in the tents and quite a bit of blood."

Dean rubbed his eyes. It reminded him of the hunt he and Sam had took back when they were looking for their father. A couple kids were attacked and one was taking back for a much later snack. Sighing he asked, "Wendigo?"

"That be my guess. So, have ya heard from Sam."

At the mention of his brother he felt his heart sink. He didn't plan on calling Sam for at least a couple of days. They both needed a break. Yet he couldn't help but feel guilty. Sam had begged Dean to let him come back. He knew his brother was frightened about finding out he was the devils vessel. Hell, Dean didn't take to well to it yet he had still refused to let him come back.

He must have been silent to long because the frustration was clear in Bobby's voice. "Dean!"

"Yeah. He called a few hours ago. He...wanted back in but I told him no..."

"Dammit Dean!" Bobby cursed.

Dean rolled his eyes. Of course it would somehow be his fault. "Did you forget Bobby! It is his fault this whole good vs evil crap started!"

"Dean..." Bobby's tone was warning. "Did YOU forget that you had broke the first seal boy? Your just to blame as your brother is!"

Dean flinched. Of course he knew...but blaming Sam had been easier. He knew he had hurt his brother...and it was intentionally. He wanted to make Sam feel the same pain he had. The betrayal, the constant lying. What hurt worse was the words Sam had thrown at him. So Dean had also threw some mast accusations and threats his way to. When he told his brother if he walked out that door, don't ever come back he had meant it. Zachariah had all but held him against his will after. It was then he told Dean that Lilith was the last seal. That it was all planned. For Sam to think killing her would keep from the apocalypse. Dean knew he had to stop it and with Cas's help he had made it to the chapel but a little to late. Lilith was face down in her own blood and Ruby was telling Sam how he would be rewarded greatly. All he could do was walk up to her, blade in hand, and she told him he was to late but in all honesty he said he didn't care and as she was about to back up Sam had grabbed her as Dean advanced and stabbed her with it. When he looked at his brother he saw nothing but panic and self loathing while he had gripped Dean's jacket. "He's coming." Sam said almost to quietly for Dean to hear.

"Your right Bobby. I got to call Sam. While I was asked, I was thrown into the future and it didn't look good."

There was a pause. "The angels?"

"Yea. You could say that. Bobby, Sam is Lucifer's vessel...and somehow Sam had said yes." Deans voice shook a little. He was still having a hard time believing Sam could have given in.

He could imagine Bobby's mouth dropping. "What...his vessel? Why would he say yes Dean? Sam wouldn't.."

"He would...if he thought he didn't have anyone."

That's when it hit him. Sam did feel like he didn't have anyone. Hell, he had begged Dean and yet he said no. He had turned Sam away without another thought and that was worse than anything Dean could have done.

"I gotta go Bobby. I need to call Sam."

He didn't give Bobby a chance to reply before he hung up he only managed to hear him say something that sounded like idjits.

He quickly speed dialed Sam. "It's Sam. Leave a message." Dean cursed as he tossed the phone on the bed in frustration.

"Cas. Castiel!" He yelled.

"Dean."

Dean did a complete one eighty. Facing the angel. "Dammit Cas! Warning next time!" He yelled.

"I apologize. Why have you called me." Cas watched Dean carefully.

"It's Sam. He's not answering his phone. Can you take me to him."

Cas nodded. Dean knew what town his brother was in but didn't know what motel. He told the angel where Sam was.

"I will check the motels in that area." An Cas had disappeared from the room.

Dean once again tried to call him, but with no luck, went to voice mail. "Answer the damn phone Sam!" Dean yelled into the phone.

He couldn't help the panic that started to rise. Sure Sam was most likely sulking but he doubted his brother would just ignore his call. "You better be alright Sammy..."

"I have found Sam." Cas had reappeared and was standing in the middle of the room.

"Ok, take me to him." Once again Cas nodded and placed two fingers to Deans forehead.

"But I wont guarantee you will like what you see."

Before Dean could question the angel he felt darkness over take him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wanted to thank you guys for all the views! And continued support! Will put up the last chapter soon! **

Dean's senses came back. He hated when Cas zapped him wherever. Not only did it feel weird but it was unnatural. He was standing outside of Super eights motel. Leave it to Sam to pick a rather crappy motel. He turned towards Cas expecting the angel to be there but he was greeted with only air. Just like Cas, he thought.

He remembered what the angel had said and it sent a new wave of panic. What did he mean? He only knew it involves Sam and he wasn't gonna waste any more time. Only problem was Cas hadn't told him what room number. "Damn angels..." He muttered.

After what felt like forever getting his brothers room number, he stood outside of Room twenty-five. Sam was on the other side of the door but Dean felt frozen in place. Afraid of what he might find. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and knocked on the door. "Sam. Sam! Open the door!"

His banging grew louder as he grew a little more frantic. He didn't hear a sound. Either Sam was ignoring him or something was wrong. Once again Cas's words replayed in his thoughts. He had to get to Sam and he had to get to him now.

He reached for the door knob to find it was unlocked. It only added more panic. Sam knew not to leave the doors unlocked and the thought he had actually frightened him. There was so many thoughts going through his mind. What if Sam had gotten attacked? What if he was laying on the floor and was...NO! He wouldn't believe his brother was dead. He opened the door rather hard. He began assessing the state of the room. Sam wasn't no where in sight. His laptop was closed on the table. His duffel bag was open and on the floor. He noticed the two beds. Ah Sammy...

Even after all Dean had said, had done, Sam still wanted a double bed room but he understood why. When Sam was at Stanford Dean had always got a room containing two beds. It always comforted him even if Sam wasn't there. Their dad was always gone so there wasn't any reason to get a second bed but Dean would always argue otherwise.

Dean walked farther into the room. "Sam!" He called again.

His gaze went to the blanket on one of the beds and he stopped dead in his tracks. Cold swept over him. There was red liquid covering the end of the blanket. He already knew it was blood and he didn't need a DNA sample to know that was Sam's blood. "Oh god...SAM!"

Dean was more than worried. He was terrified. He had no idea what happened, how badly hurt his brother was or why he was even injured in the first place. He was in full blown panic now.

The only place he hadn't checked was the bathroom. He noticed the light was on and the door was shut. In three quick steps he was already pounding on the door. He turned the knob and unlike the front door it was locked which meant Sam was definitely in there and he was determined to get to him. After all just because they decided to separate its didn't mean it took away his big brother instincts.

He gave the door a hard kick followed by another. At first the door wouldn't give but as he put more force into the last kick the door have and swung open with a clatter. He was relieved until he walked in at the sight before him. His heart stopped, and his breathing hitched. He was stuck in place. His legs wouldn't work and all he could manage to choke out was, "SAM!"

Sam was completely engulfed in water. Which was now a bright pink. Dean didn't know when he had started moving but he reached for his brother. Gripping whatever he could in attempt to free him. Thanks to his brothers non-stop growing over the years not only was he taller than Dean but he was way heavier which made it harder to get him out than necessary.

With nothing but adrenaline fueling his efforts and the need to get Sam safe he had finally managed to get Sam out of the tub and onto the cold tile floor. The first thing Dean did was check for a pulse. A pulse, that no matter how long he left his fingers to Sam's neck, never came.

"No. No this is NOT happening!" He refused to believe Sam was just gone.

He quickly started performing CPR. Doing repercussions and breathing for his little brother. He did the steps over and over again for fifteen minutes till loss of his own air starting making him dizzy but he didn't stop. He wouldn't give on Sam. He continued to breath for him for a bit longer before he stopped.

He stared at his brother. His skin was so pale and clammy. Ice cold. He moved a lock of hair out of his face. He couldn't stop the sobs that wracked his body. All he could do was bring Sam up to him and hold him tight. All the while chanting no over and over again. He had failed Sam and because of it he was gone. What Dean didn't fail to see were the neat gashes that trailed up his arms. His sobs became painful cries. "Why, why Sam!"

The realization that Sam had made those ugly cuts, had taken his own life was more than he could handle. He didn't deny the pain he felt. Sam was dead. Sam had committed suicide and it was all his fault...


	4. Chapter 4

His eyes felt heavy. He didn't want to open them. He had once again failed at ending his life. Lucifer had brought him back once again. Sam didn't know what to do now. He had tried almost everything yet Lucifer only taunted him whenever he brought to Sam back. Saying, "I told you so."

Dean didn't want anything to do with him obviously and he couldn't turn to Cas because chances were he was with Dean and Bobby? He knew he could always call him but it was better if he didn't bother him either. It was bad enough his own brother had turned him away and to aggravate Bobby about it just wasn't fair.

He slowly opened his eyes. He was met with the white ceiling. It was then he realized he was laying on something soft. His bed. Not the tub filled with water where he should have been. When Lucifer brought him back Sam would always wake back up exactly where he had died, completely healed. So why was he laying in the bed? Surely Lucifer, the devil, didn't grow a heart and decided Sam needed to wake up feeling comfortable? Sam smirked. Yea like that would ever happen, he thought bitterly.

He raised up. Looking around the room to see if anything was out of place but there was nothing. The duffel bag was exactly where he left it on the floor, un-touched. His laptop was also how he left it. Closed and on the table. The rest of the room seemed normal to. Maybe Lucifer had put him there. Rubbing his hand down his face he quickly stopped. Bringing his hands down he stared at his arms. They were wrapped up in white bandages, neatly done. He stood and ran into the bathroom expecting to see a bathtub filled with bloody water but instead the tub was empty. It looks as though the water had been let out sometime ago. There was not one sigh he had even slit his wrists. No blood. No water. Nothing.

He honestly was at a loss for words. He didn't know what happened but he chose to let it go for now and change out of his bloody clothes. Only when he looked into the mirror he was wearing a different set of clothing already. Why would Lucifer not only bring him bac but also fix his arm with bandages and change his clothes? He didn't have time to think on it before he heard a all to familiar sound. He had grown up listening to it his whole life. It was the rumble of Dean's Impala.

Sam's heart beat picked up. He was confused. Why would Dean be here and how did he find him? He stepped out of the small bathroom as the engine cut out. He stood next to the bed. He didn't want to face Dean. He had to finish what he started somehow. Even if he needed a spell or something to ensure that Lucifer couldn't bring him back. The door knob slowly turned and the door opened revealing a very devastated Dean. "Dean...what are you doing here..."

Dean's head whipped around so fast that Sam flinched at how his brother really looked. Dean's face was ghostly pale and his eyes were red. He looked as if he hadn't slept for days but what really got Sam worried was how defeated his brother appeared. His eyes held nothing but pure pain but then they widened at one look at Sam. "Sam...?"

Dean's voice was disbelieving. More than that it was shattered. It wasn't the stern demanding one he always used. Suddenly Sam felt like the air had been forced out of him. The bandages, change of clothes, everything. That wasn't Lucifer's doing. It was Dean's and now Sam understood the change in his brother. Once again he saw Sam dead. It was like Jake had stabbed him all over again and Dean was left to watch his brother die, unable to stop it. He never wanted to see his brother like that again.

"Oh god..." Sam turned as he emptied his stomach of its fluids in the toilet. It made him sick to have known Dean went through that AGAIN and this time it was Sam's fault.

"Sammy..."

He turned. Dean was standing in the doorway watching him. Trying to determine if Sam was really alive. Sam could see the slight tremble in his posture. Dean was crying. Something he rarely did. Only when dad died. When Sam died.

He slowly stood up. "Dean I'm sorry. I had to."

If it was even more possible, more pain registered in Dean's green orbs. What he asked really caught Sam off guard. "Are you a spirit..."

"What..? No, Dean I'm alive."

Dean walked up to him. He put his hand out and placed it over Sam's heart. Dean kept his hand there, feeling Sam's heart beat and his expression changed from terrified to relieved, pulling Sam to him. It took his brother by surprise. Dean held him for awhile before pulling back but keeping his hands on Sam's shoulders. Afraid if he let go Sam wouldn't be there anymore.

"Sam...you were..."

"I know Dean. I have to stop Lucifer. If I'm dead then he wont have a vessel."

Sam watched him carefully. Fully expecting him to understand but Dean's eyes had turned from sorrow to rage in a second. "So you tried killing yourself!? How the hell could that solve anything!"

Sam flinched at the tone of his voice. Dean was afraid. He understood that. Having your brother slicing up his arms wasn't something you would want to see but what else could he do. He set Lucifer free. It was up to him to set it right. Before he could answer his brother, Dean had already let go and turned away from him.

"I had to. I told Lucifer I would rather die than be his vessel and I meant it but he said he would just bring me back, Dean. That's why I'm not dead." Sam sighed.

Dean faced him again. His gaze went to the bandages around his brothers arms. The bandages he had wrapped around Sam's injuries. "It was to close..." Dean whispered.

Sam looked up to see his brother retreating from the room and setting on one of the beds. "Dean."

"Sam, I'm sorry. I had refused when you asked to hunt together again. When you told me about Lucifer. For making you think you didn't have anyone anymore, that you were on your own, man that's not true..." paused.

Sam stared at him. "It's alright."

"Don't." Dean growled. "I about lost you again Sam all because I was being a dick. We are brothers Sammy, and no matter what you do, that'll never change. Yea I was pissed at you, but I don't hate you. We both got played and we both had a part in breaking the seals. I'm just as much to blame as you are."

Sam was about to argue when Dean glared at him. "We are both to blame Sam." Dean's voice held no argument.

"I'm sorry Dean."

"Promise me. You'll never try that again. I can't lose you Sam. I wont."

Sam set beside his brother. Dean was right. They were blood brothers and nothing could change that. "I promise."

Dean gave him a sad smile before saying, "Because next time I will let Lucifer bring you back so I can kill you, bitch."

Sam smirked, "Wont have to jerk."


	5. Chapter 5

**I wanted to thank all you guys for reading! A appreciate it greatly! ^_^ I look forward to writing even more stories, hopefully better! Many thanks! ;)**


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